You assume incorrectly. There are plenty of lenders in NYC who specialize in co-op financing. While the transactions are somewhat complex, it's entirely possible to secure funding for the share purchase required to secure a co-op. Qualification and down payment requirements are similar to a mortgage for the outright purchase of a similarly priced property.

There are advantages and disadvantages to a co-op. First off, the other shareholders have a say in whom is allowed to live in the building, either as a shareholder/owner or as a rental tenant. This can be a good thing if the residents are "your" type of people and you are theirs. The downside of course is that once you're "in" it may be difficult to unload your shares if the prospective owner isn't acceptable to the rest of the shareholders.

As with any real estate investment, a co-op may increase or decrease in value. And, as in a condominium, there are maintenance costs of common areas that must be shared amongst the shareholder-owners. If the property isn't well managed, the cost of a re-roof or major plumbing or electrical upgrade or the replacement of an elevator can shock the budget into oblivion.

Edit: It's a mortgage but the collateral for the loan is the shares in the corporation that actually owns the co-op as opposed to being the property itself.

I absolutely see your point. I am a stay-at-home mom. I have been for 4 months now. My husband and I have a 13 month old son. Before we had our son, I was the sole provider. He was in school, so I covered the expenses. When I was on maternity leave, he was completing school and looking for a job, but the time I had saved at work covered all of our expenses. I then went back to work until my son was 9 months old (I worked for 6 months). My husband got a well paying job and now supports us. I plan on furthering my education as I'm home raising our son (and, any future children), so that once they go to school, I will be able to return to work (likely part-time, but still it's work). Nonetheless, I absolutely see your point. When I was working and supporting my husband prior to having our son, we agreed that he wasn't going to lounge all day. He was to do laundry, cleaning, etc. as well as go to school. Furthermore, now that I'm home, my first priority is to take care of our son, and then the household. We agreed that there won't be any free-riding, but we do treat housework/childcare/school as a job.

I suppose I went a bit on a tangent there, but I think your wife is going to freak out when you divide up the money into the "us" account and the "my" account. I highly doubt it will motivate her to go out and get a job. What does she do all day anyways?! Without children, laundry and cleaning can't take that long. You will have nobody to mess anything up! Does she work out a lot? Visit with the neighbors? I'm interested to know her daily routine.

I am very certain that you have talked to her about this to no end, and have gotten no results. I do not think "shaming her into action" will work though (at least with the money). I like the idea of hiring a maid and lawn service. Maybe suggest to her that you are hiring these people to assist so she can go back and have a career because if something ever happened to you, well – she'd be screwed. And, allow her to decide whether she wants to jump right back into the workforce or go back to school? Maybe she would like to change careers? Do something more enjoyable? Education never hurt anybody, and it could greatly help her since she has been out of work for so long. I hate to say it, but it sounds like she's a little bit spoiled. She refuses to work and has everything she has ever wanted. Also, consider going to a marriage counselor. Sometimes it just takes hearing it from a third party. Obviously, you don't have to go into full detail about your marriage, but just ask for assistance with this topic.

Well, sorry for my ranting at the beginning and I really hope everything works out for you. Careful touching the money though – it could really start a battle. Take care!